Clichés – they everywhere, you can’t avoid them. Just like in any other city, Berlin is full of clichés as well. By merely knowing in which district the person lives, you can literally tell what their character is like, you immediately know their favorite clothing shop, favorite color, diet and favorite vegetable. At least, you think that you got them psyched out. Here is a little overview of who lives where in Berlin. It’s an overview that shouldn’t be taken all too seriously.

Mitte: Mum and dad just bought you a flat here. Right now, you are studying medicine, but not really because you feel like saving people is your profession but because you want to broaden your horizon, in some way or another. Having just moved into your three-room-flat that you have all for yourself you like to throw home parties during which hot models and Evil Jared do coke together in your bathroom.

Prenzlauer Berg: You just moved here from Badem-Württemberg with your husband from Munich. You and your husband made a bunch of babies called Finn, Hauke, Torben and Eva which you bring to the nearest café. There, you complain about not being allowed to change diapers on the table. Well, that sucks. But after drinking a coffee, you go to the organic supermarket and cook an exotic all-organic, gluten-free and vegan dinner at home for you and your exotic friends who like to have conversations about art that they don’t understand themselves.

Marzahn: You like watching TV, you do it all day instead of working. Your husband is an early-retired man as well and you both like smoking tobacco all day inside the flat in front of the television. Your children are called Kevin, Jacqueline, Candy, Chantal and Pascal-Enrico-Jeremy. You love them. This is why you feed them nutritious frozen pizza for dinner.

Kreuzberg: You come from Stuttgart, a small town in Germany, but you feel more Berlin than most Berliners do. Having just arrived here, you are shocked at how cheap the rents are. Every week, you spend hours in the cool and hip café near your place with your MacBook, drinking a chai latte with soy milk. Since social commitment means a lot to you, you are helping out in the refugee camp every Thursday. But on the weekend, you party like there is no tomorrow, doing lots of coke. Ironic because you can be sure that at least one person died for your cocaine habit.

Zehlendorf: You have never worked and cleaned before. Now, you are studying law or economics because your goal in life is earning a lot of money. On the weekends you usually take your beloved horse for a ride because you really like horses. Afterwards you spend the evening with your girls, doing spa and wellness treatments for your skin and hair, while drinking champagne.

I am sure many of you can actually relate to this little depiction of Berlin’s diverse population. Of course, this overview doesn’t apply to all people. We, as civilized people, all certainly agree on one thing after all: Pigeonholing is something bad. Don’t do it, kids.