If you are unsure about the future durability of your relationship, you can test this by taking a trip together. A weekend away has the potential to either rapidly become a nightmare, or to end beautifully. During this “time off”, you can get to discover your real partner and the little things about them, such as their constant coughing or the way they keep clicking their tongue. While you might have found these quirks adorable in the beginning, they can easily become grating and annoying. One of my friends once told me, “You love someone not because of who they are, but despite who they are”, and she’s definitively right. During your holiday, you’ll be stuck with each other 24/7, and a little thing like a clogged shower drain or open toothpaste could herald the end of your relationship. Yet the big problem could lie way beyond these tiny trifles.
I spent some time in Crete this holiday, and while I was in the hotel, I got to know Uwe and Martina – a real dream couple, by the way. They were almost inseparable; stuck together like Siamese twins. When you asked one of them a question, the other would answer for them. Sometimes they even ended up ending their sentences together.
One evening, I ran into a rather drunken Uwe at the pool bar, looking like a plush toy that the dog dragged in just seconds ago. His eyes were glazed over – Martina was not there to complete his sentences any longer. They’d had a fight, and Uwe had been sleeping on the couch since the day before. Martina wasn’t speaking to him anymore. And he wasn’t talking to her either. It had been the toothpaste. They’d been boozing up all night, and poisonous words flew across the room, and it was all very painful.
Although Martina and Uwe were both at the pool that night, they stayed far, far apart from each other. This fight came as no surprise – if you’re not careful to leave some place for individuality in your relationship during its infancy, you’ll soon realize the consequences. It’s very important to have some measure of freedom in a relationship; you’ve both got to have a private life.
They would probably have had a better time of it, had they both taken some alone time for themselves. Martina could have played tennis by herself while Uwe played golf. Uwe and Martina separated after their holiday. They began speaking badly of each other, and referred to the other as “the biggest mistake of my life.”
Your first trip is an opportunity for you to get to know your lover better – if you survive this trip together, you’re on your way to learning how to love your partner not because of who they are, but despite who they are.
Ever taken a trip with your partner? How did it turn out? Message me: kontakt@readthetrieb.com
I wish you a nice week.
Yours,
Lucy
